Pleasantly Unwelcome
by Tai'Daishar
Summary: Naruto trained by Orochimaru himself, finds the way to true immortality. Desperate to protect the natural order of things, Kami appears to Naruto and offers him three requests, in return for him not to use the technique or show anyone else how to either.


Pleasantly Unwelcome

Disclamer: I don't own Naruto, but I own a beowulf custer

AN: also for the record, I started writing this a 2:30 am and am publishing at 1:00 pm, If this needs some fixing let me know. I also have an outline for the rest of the chapters, so expect more soon, after I finish work and get some sleep.

Thanks to Muninn the Black for beta reading.

Summary: Naruto trained by Orochimaru himself, finds the way to true immortality. Desperate to protect the natural order of things, Kami appears to Naruto and offers him three requests, in return for him not to use the technique or show anyone else how to either. EvilNaruto/Kami joseph33759 's challenge

Chapter 1 : Mind Fuckery

This is a story about a boy name Naruto. You maybe have heard about him, but not like this. This Naruto has so much in common with a Naruto you know; he is an orphan, his generally ignored and dislike by people in Konoha. Also don't forget he is the container for the Nine-tailed fox, that's important. His also very different from the Naruto you know, the third Hokage gave this Naruto less attention, he never wanted to be the Hokage, he lives in the hidden sound village not the hidden leaf village, and he is taught by Orochimaru. Did I forget to mention he's evil I hope not, that has a lot to do with the story. Now is the time to go into too much detail about what happened. To put it simply, because he has no passion to be Hokage, Naruto spends his time learning about different things like ninjutsu, cellular structure, or abstract physics, to even Orochimaru's surprise. That is where we find our young here, or should I say villain.

* * *

><p>We find Naruto in a private room, deep underground. Hidden and mysterious are two words that could be used to describe the room, so are Musty and Boring, but it is how you see it. Naruto sits in a corner, flanked by books to one side and beakers to another.<p>

He quickly writes notes and sketches a chemical diagram in the notebook next to him. He abruptly stops writing and shuts the notebook with a dull thud. Naruto stops for just a moment before griping his forehead, laughing with a guttural laugh.

After five minutes of laughter, he slowly comes to a stop. When he does, he grabs two vials of liquid in each hand. In the left hand, he held a boiling flask full of a diluted red liquid the flask was warm to the touch after being kept over and open flame. In his right hand, a graduated cylinder filled with a florescent green liquid, and while not cooled, the container was ice cold.

Naruto then slowly, brought the green vial to the red and carefully tipped it to were a single drop fell from the green to the red, quickly disappearing.

He began to count.

"One one-thousand"

"Two one-thousand"

"Three one-thousand"

He put another drop of the green solution into the red, this continued until he was up to nine drops. He then set down both container, the green back where it was, but the red flask he place not back on the burner, but on the desk and he didn't let go, as if he was afraid it would disappear the moment he let go.

For a few moments he just stared at the flask neither letting, nor bringing it close as if it would bite. A bead of sweat, rolled down his forehead. And just as quickly as the tension had appeared, it was gone.

"This is it! This could have many reproductions! I should really think if I should go through with this. This is a monumental task, finally complete! I should take a moment to think this through."

He paused for just second.

"Awww, fuck it!"

In a single swift motion, Naruto grabs the red flask and drinks it down without a second thought.

Once done, he sits the now empty container down and waits.

Nothing. Nothing happened. Not a single thing.

"What? What the HELL!" he begins to yell.

"I was sure that would work! Hell, I was sure that it would at least do somethi-"at the word 'do', Naruto had begun to stand, he is stopped by an extreme vertigo.

He quickly brasses himself on the desk in front of him, smashing beakers and flasks and the corrosive green liquid burring his hand.

Naruto finally losses what is left of his balance and falls forward, his hands dragging glass to the floor and across the desk. His head striking the desk cutting his forehead, and bouncing a piece of glass from the desk and sending it deep into his carotid artery in his neck, and with Kyubbi's chakra going to the chemicals in his system, he would bleed out long before the Kyubbi could heal it and save him. Naruto's last thoughts before darkness claimed him were not words, but just a string of letters

"…"

* * *

><p>An unknown time later groggily Naruto awakens from his forced slumber; pushing himself from the floor he checks his neck. It is unwounded; surprised that he could have healed in time. He notices that the burn marks on his hands were gone; the chemical burns even on him should still be there. This was strange. It could only mean one thing.<p>

It worked.

He was ecstatic. His life work was complete; he couldn't wait to tell Orochimaru. As he turns to leave the room he sees a figure standing in the door. The darkness of the room made it hard to recognize, but then he knew, it was him… as a child with a bright red balloon.

"Hi, Naruto having fun?" the child spoke

Naruto immediately knew who ever this was, they were no good.

"I guess not with no one around to play with," the child spoke tilting his head ever so slightly. "A matter of fact, ever since you were a child no one has ever really paid the slightest bit of attention to you, not the matron of the orphanage, not the citizens of Konoha, not even the Hokage who swore to look after you."

Naruto glared at the child making such comment about his past.

"Maybe that is why you went with Orochimaru, he promised to teach you, if you would always try your hardest to learn, I guess he saw himself in you. Even then you have always had your doubts about working with him. You SAW how he discarded Anko and the curse mark failures! The only reason you don't have a curse mark it the Kyubbi's chakra blocked it! His training is nothing short of barbaric and has endangered your life multiple times!"

This boy was talking about things he should not know; only he and Orochimaru knew in the sound village that he did not have a curse mark and no one knew his worries about Orochimaru and his training, no matter how small.

At this point the boy started to walk forward, something also seemed to change with his appearance.

"And then there is the Sound village in general, while you've met shinobi you like and even thought that the red haired one was cute-"

At that moment Naruto figured out what was wrong with the child's appearance, i he was getting older. /i

"-you generally think many of the shinobi as unprofessional."

Now the doppelganger was almost at his age of 14.

"That isn't to say that you still didn't have thoughts about what you would do to some of the girls you've seen around here. Things that could, no would, make them blush." At this point it was if there were two identical Narutos in the room, the conversation had reached the uncanny valley of creepy mindreading. At that moment Naruto prayed to whatever god out there listening to make it stop. Boy was that a mistake.

The clone then walked behind him, Naruto turn to follow, this is when Naruto finally notice that he was unable to move.

"Then when you watch the experiments you wonder what it would be like to have your free will taken from you and you were changed into a completely different person, if for no other reason but to not always have to be you. And that not even your greatest secret!"

And with that sentence Naruto knew that he was about to enter the area he only describe as Soul Rape Mountain.

"I mean it is a pretty obvious secret too! It's your first original jutsu!"

He hears the clone's voice go hoarse for a moment.

"Your greatest fantasy-"

The clone just back from behind him and there is a big difference from how it looked before. It next words no longer hoarse but a soft soprano.

"-Is a female you!"

And that is exactly what he saw in front of him. And with all the things he wanted to say before about this person not knowing what they were taking about or they should mind their own business, was all lost on what he was looking at.

"Don't worry I was just messing with you."

The female doppelganger transformed once again but this time into an original form. It was still female, but Naruto had no way how to describe, the appearance of pure beauty.

He had words but only for the amassment he had.

"Oh, Kami"

"Why yes, I am."

* * *

><p>Naruto Woke this day expecting it to be like non-other, but it will be more that he could have been able to comprehend.<p>

* * *

><p>The door slides open as Orochimaru has come to check on Naruto.<p>

"Naruto, how is your work going?"


End file.
